Under the Bridge A song
by The All Saints
Ok, let's do this: Good Points, then Bad Points, then Overall with Score.
The chorus isn't too bad, and it's also based on a class song.
That took me about 20 minutes. Seriously, that is it. The chorus isn't too bad, but nothing compared to the Chili Peppers version.
This is what I call the ultimate Bastardisation of a song. Seriously, I will never find anything worse.
They completely screwed up the intro, breaking it up with gaps to make it "hip" and "down". The only thing down about it is how bloody down the charts it must have been because it is seriously shite. For the first two seconds you think "Yay! Under the bridge!" Then there's a second silence, and then the next bit. And then it repeats the last bit of the intro.
Then it kicks into shit mode. What the hell is this drumming?! And the singing, you can imagine the video of this bus just beating up and down, forward and backwards. And it happens so quickly, you don't realise what part the girls are singing.
The chorus to be fair is not that bad. It's probably the song's strong point. It's also the closest thing to the real Under the Bridge. Because this song is all that it is: A Fake Under the Bridge. Nothing more.
But then it seriously gets bad. Here is what the real Under The Bridge's 2nd verse goes like:I drive on her streets
'Cause she's my companion
I walk through her hills
'Cause she knows who I am
She sees my good deeds
And she kisses me windy
I never worry
Now that is a lie
Now this is the Fake Under The Bridge's 2nd lyrics: I drive on his streets
'Cause he's my companion
I walk through his hills
'Cause he knows who I am
He sees my good deeds
And he kisses me windy
I never worry
Now that is a lie
What's the difference between the two? The All Saints have changed the gender of Los Angeles. You'd think that it's not that bad but it really does change the whole manner of the song. The City of Angels will always be known as a 'she' because of the Original Under The Bridge. YOU CAN'T GO AND CHANGE IT! IT REALLY SCREWS UP THE WHOLE SONG.
Seriously, you must find "I drive on her streets 'cause she's my companion" better than "I drive on his streets 'cause he's my companion", not only because of the subject matter but because of the sound of her and she. His and He is a lot harsher and rougher, and really doesn't suit the song.
And THEN! It misses out the awesome Bridge. Under the Bridge's bridge part is one of the best parts in the song, so leaving it out is like leaving out the chocolate in a chocolate bar. Instead, it replaces it with some black (and most probably "hip") guy saying "One time, two times, three times, four times" before kicking into the chorus again. What?!?!
It's an utter disgrace, I don't know why the Chili Pepper's allowed this song to be remade. This song does not deserve the name "Under The Bridge". The only good thing about it is that after the Fake one has ended, the real one starts playing and it's a great relief to hear such a great song.
But this fake attrocity? It deserves a lowly 5% on the Nickelpants Ass-Kicking Scale, and that's only because it's based on a fantastic song.