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The Welsh Reviews of Films, Games, Literature and Music
Under the Bridge 
16th-Apr-2006 09:39 pm
Me
Under the Bridge
A song by The All Saints



Ok, let's do this: Good Points, then Bad Points, then Overall with Score.

The chorus isn't too bad, and it's also based on a class song.

That took me about 20 minutes. Seriously, that is it. The chorus isn't too bad, but nothing compared to the Chili Peppers version.

This is what I call the ultimate Bastardisation of a song. Seriously, I will never find anything worse.

They completely screwed up the intro, breaking it up with gaps to make it "hip" and "down". The only thing down about it is how bloody down the charts it must have been because it is seriously shite. For the first two seconds you think "Yay! Under the bridge!" Then there's a second silence, and then the next bit. And then it repeats the last bit of the intro.

Then it kicks into shit mode. What the hell is this drumming?! And the singing, you can imagine the video of this bus just beating up and down, forward and backwards. And it happens so quickly, you don't realise what part the girls are singing.

The chorus to be fair is not that bad. It's probably the song's strong point. It's also the closest thing to the real Under the Bridge. Because this song is all that it is: A Fake Under the Bridge. Nothing more.

But then it seriously gets bad. Here is what the real Under The Bridge's 2nd verse goes like:

I drive on her streets
'Cause she's my companion
I walk through her hills
'Cause she knows who I am
She sees my good deeds
And she kisses me windy
I never worry
Now that is a lie


Now this is the Fake Under The Bridge's 2nd lyrics:

I drive on his streets
'Cause he's my companion
I walk through his hills
'Cause he knows who I am
He sees my good deeds
And he kisses me windy
I never worry
Now that is a lie


What's the difference between the two? The All Saints have changed the gender of Los Angeles. You'd think that it's not that bad but it really does change the whole manner of the song. The City of Angels will always be known as a 'she' because of the Original Under The Bridge. YOU CAN'T GO AND CHANGE IT! IT REALLY SCREWS UP THE WHOLE SONG.

Seriously, you must find "I drive on her streets 'cause she's my companion" better than "I drive on his streets 'cause he's my companion", not only because of the subject matter but because of the sound of her and she. His and He is a lot harsher and rougher, and really doesn't suit the song.

And THEN! It misses out the awesome Bridge. Under the Bridge's bridge part is one of the best parts in the song, so leaving it out is like leaving out the chocolate in a chocolate bar. Instead, it replaces it with some black (and most probably "hip") guy saying "One time, two times, three times, four times" before kicking into the chorus again. What?!?!

It's an utter disgrace, I don't know why the Chili Pepper's allowed this song to be remade. This song does not deserve the name "Under The Bridge". The only good thing about it is that after the Fake one has ended, the real one starts playing and it's a great relief to hear such a great song.

But this fake attrocity? It deserves a lowly 5% on the Nickelpants Ass-Kicking Scale, and that's only because it's based on a fantastic song.
Comments 
16th-Apr-2006 09:29 pm (UTC)
This song should be bound with rope, put in a bag, tortured, electrocuted, shot, poisoned, stabbed, bitten, poked, prodded, hit with sharp things, kicked, and then drowned in the ocean.

But I love the Chilis! ^_^
16th-Apr-2006 09:33 pm (UTC)
Absolutely!

There is little point of making a cover of a Chili Peppers song because it'll never be as good, but this is kind of taking the piss.

I think the most insulting thing about this song is that it tried to make the song "hip".

But I'm glad you agree with me!
16th-Apr-2006 09:36 pm (UTC)
I don't know anyone that wouldn't ...seriously.

You like the Chili's? ^_^

16th-Apr-2006 09:41 pm (UTC)
I LOVE the Chilis. I really want to go see them live this summer. I need to pester my dad about it.

I have By the Way, Californication, Blood Sugar Sex Magik, and Uplift Mofo Party Plan (I love the name of it, it's so damn awesome!), and I also have the Greatest Hits album and the Live in Hyde Park album. I'm also hoping to get Stadium Arcadium when it comes out.

Do you like Dani California?
16th-Apr-2006 09:51 pm (UTC)
Hehe, I have their entire backcatalogue of albums. I love them ever-so-much :) I have some of John Frusciante's solo albums too, Niandra Lades and Usually Just a T Shirt, Shadows Collide with People, and To Record Only Water for Ten Days. His stuff is very different from the Chili's stuff though. But I love him :)

I've seen them a few times live before. I saw them at Gig on the Green in 2003, on their By The Way tour at the SECC in Glasgow, and at Murrayfield Stadium in Edinburgh for their Stadium tour. They are the most AMAZING live things I've ever seen. Seriously. Rocked my socks. I've got tickets to go and see them in Manchester [yeah we didnt really think about HOW we're actually going to get there from EDINBURGH oopsy] and for T in the Park this year, where they're headlining. You should go to T in the Park! I went last year! OMGWTFBBQ best few days EVAR. :)

I don't really like Dani California, to be honest. I think its kind of boring. I dont know, maybe it'l grow on me. Do you?
16th-Apr-2006 09:57 pm (UTC)
Wow! You're uber hardcore. I should really get some of their other albums but to be honest I'm not much of an album person.

I like Dani California. I can understand how you can find it boring, it's quite a slow-but-not-that-Under-The-Bridge-slow song. But I like it anyway.
16th-Apr-2006 10:05 pm (UTC)
Hehe YAS Go Hardcore Cat XD

People actually call me that.
[not really]
It would be cool if they did.

If you get a chance, see them. They are amazing. But you'll get addicted, and its an expensive addiction.

Not as expensive as crack though, so it could be worse.

It might grow on me I guess. Much as I love By The Way, some of their older stuff, especially from Blood Sugar Sex Majic is a lot more bass funkyish, and I like that. But they always play older stuff when they tour so it'll all be GREAT. I'm excited already. And it's not til July. Im such a big kid. twice in a week I might just die of excitement. If I do, you can have the tickets.

SO pretty much I like all their stuff, except for ones covered by ALL SAINTS.

*shudder*

That was a random song to start with
16th-Apr-2006 10:08 pm (UTC)
It was a random song to start off the community.

I hadn't actually heard it until Carys told me yesterday "Ew, have you heard the All Saints kill Under the Bridge?". I remembered today so I downloaded it, and I ended up ranting it to Carys. I then thought "Well, hey, why don't I open up the community by reviewing it.

And here we are!
16th-Apr-2006 10:31 pm (UTC)
Oh so this is suddenly my fault? :p ;)
16th-Apr-2006 10:43 pm (UTC)
How could you inflict that song on him? :P
16th-Apr-2006 10:44 pm (UTC)
He didn't have to download it :P

I don't know why I asked about it, actually. The real, proper, good version came on and I just asked if he'd heard the All Saints murder version and he said he hadn't.
16th-Apr-2006 10:46 pm (UTC)
You were *SO* listening to Radio One.

Were you? :)
16th-Apr-2006 10:47 pm (UTC)
Nope, we were listening to my playlist! :D
16th-Apr-2006 10:48 pm (UTC)
Dammit, dammit, I so thought I was right. v_v

I get so excited when I hear chili's on the radio. It makes me happy. :)
17th-Apr-2006 09:15 am (UTC)
I just remembered something, thought you might like to know
[because I am nice like that]
Radio 1, Tonight,[Monday] 7.00, Zane Lowe's show.
Red Hot Chili Peppers, live, when they played for 500 people in London(on Friday)*nod* Oh God I spent so long on the jammed up phonelines trying to get those tickets. =/

Anyway *smile* If you want, thats where its at :)
16th-Apr-2006 10:48 pm (UTC)
Lol no, one of his various playlists (but not the one with silly songs such as Linkin Park *hits Matt for that*). But Virgin Radio plays a heap of good songs all day long, I listen to it nearly all the time (unless the signal is bad, then I listen to Radio One or a local channel).
16th-Apr-2006 10:50 pm (UTC)
I used to get Virgin radio when I lived in England, i hearted it SO much.

And then I moved to Edinburgh, and it didnt work anymore =/

So now its all back to Radio One. I like it. Especially Zane Lowe. Yum. ^_^
16th-Apr-2006 10:52 pm (UTC)
(Hehe Zane Lowe *hi5* and yum)

Yeah Virgin rocks so hard! w00t for Virgin!
16th-Apr-2006 10:54 pm (UTC)
*hi5 back!*
I miss it v_v
17th-Apr-2006 09:17 am (UTC)
But Radio One has Chilis, live, tonight [7.00, Zane Lowe] from Friday when they played to like 500 people.

I would have done ANYTHING for those tickets. *sob*

God, it's early in the morning. *smile*
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